Hear me out on this one folks, I have this pretty crazy concept that the solution to racism is not more racism and prejudice.
To lay the foundation of what I am going to cover I want to start off with the fact we have only ended up in this strange cultural situation due to many people wanting desperately to do the most “right” thing possible and unfortunately these people with positive intent are being used and misled.
Not terribly long ago one key moment to where things started to take a turn was the attempt to redefine what racism is. As of today a google search will declare:
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.
Although there are plenty of variants and possibilities of expansion, for the most part people have agreed on this definition concept for quite some time.
With minimal effort however, one can find attempts to tell people otherwise, a non isolated example being:
Some highlights including:
a system of advantage based on race;
a system of oppression based on race;
social and institutional power PLUS racial prejudice.
Racism is NOT:
racial prejudice, hatred, or discrimination.
“Racism is both a system of advantage (for whites) and a system of oppression (for BIPOC). The system was created to concentrate social and institutional power among those designated as “white,” and to exclude all others from receiving these benefits.”
You likely are not alone having to reread parts as it is pretty jarring to see the majority of the new definition basically be the opposite of the original. I’m no big city professor, but it does not take much effort to see that the only purpose of this re-interpretation is an attempt to make BIPOC people be immune to ever being called racist. When you are being racist trying to recreate your definition of racism, no good can come as a result. All humans have the potential to be awful no matter the color of their skin or societal situation and to say otherwise is to deny reality. Pointing out factors that led a person to be racist by powers that were seemingly out of their hands does not make said person any less of an actual racist.
So with that said, Kink / BDSM people have plenty of shared feelings being considered the small percentage outcasts compared to the vanilla majority. Virtually all understand racism is a bigger concern, but the situation causes more default sympathy to feeling discriminated against.
Slowly terms have gotten more and more divisive such as:
BIPOC - because POC - People of Color somehow was not good enough, Also as a person growing up in the 80s this is a very awkward term since calling anyone “Colored” was not culturally acceptable at all.
WOMXN - because somehow “women” was not a broad enough inclusive term
FOLX - Again because somehow “folks” was perceived to not refer to absolutely anyone.
Now on Womxn I can grasp the concept that those who use it dislike the term men or feel it did not represent trans, however to also declare it represents women of color seems by most to be quite an odd direction considering the original word purpose. This type of thinking led to the completely unnecessary creation of Folx. These word types show groups that were originally just wanting to be accepted and integrate, now trying so hard to stand out and separate.
All of these type terms are taking original terms that were meant to be quite inclusive by default and then remixed to infer there was some sort of existing problem. If the intent is to be more specific (which is the real intent of these new words), just use more specific words, not bastardized broad words and terms. It just becomes this hustle to infer you are a bad person not using the new words when everyone else is still thinking there wasn’t any problem with those original words to begin with.
I first saw WOMXN used in a Kink.com newsletter and although thinking the term was ridiculous after looking up what the internet had to say about the need and purpose of it was, I brushed it off since the class title was mixed in with reasonable other class titles.
Jumping to more recent times I received a Kink.com newsblast titled “Unfair treatment of BIPOC folx in the adult industry must end” this time not the usual mix of classes, but count them up, 9 similar “classes” with descriptions inferring mostly of grievance content.
Now the point isn’t to say BIPOC people don’t have valid concerns in the porn industry, but at some point you have to declare maybe making random people on the internet pay to essentially be guilt tripped and kink shamed is a misplaced effort compared to making a concerns video to present to actual porn producers. Ironically a good chunk of these class descriptions appear they could be aimed directly at speaking to Kink.com which makes some diversity attempts, but is nowhere near the demanded “standards” of this group.
Additionally many class descriptions show nothing more than the presenters just want things their way. “How To Get More BIPOC Folx in Leadership Roles” for example from a Dom perspective is kind of hilarious. You can’t make random people suddenly be leaders, natural leaders rise and shine based on their own actions. Perhaps one could create leadership building classes for those showing potential to actually address this concept, however again telling random people on the internet to hunt down some leaders is no help whatsoever.
“How To Diversify Kinky Spaces” is another seemingly innocuous title however I take great offense to. Every public dungeon space I have been to has gone way out of their way to be inclusive of course including all races. As mentioned earlier, kinky people get it on the concept of just wanting a place to be able to enjoy themselves without persecution. As a result there are no stories of anyone being turned away from a dungeon due to race and the angle changes to “Have you ever gone to a kinky event and not felt welcomed?” This just comes down to that person perceiving not enough of a certain race showed up to a party, which is a pretty racist concern. The best a dungeon can do is offer an inclusive public space and whoever shows up, shows up. With places like Portland it can become a simple demographics issue. Studies estimate around 40% of people declare to have some form of kink interest, then what percentage of that is prepared to go to a public dungeon, and then with whatever is left, maybe 7% of Portland is considered BIPOC. Perhaps one could say it just seems like there are more white kinky people in America in general, but to counter that you can’t just start treating other races like cargo to make your ideal vision of what the makeup of a good BDSM party should be. Just because you think a club might feel a little cliquey does not mean a Klan rally is going on in the back. If one is considering race at all when it comes to deciding to invite a friend to a dungeon or not, they are thinking way too hard.
Seen in this Flip The Script series and other classes at large BDSM events, there seems to be a movement to present the concept there should be some special rule book on how to play with non white people which is just ridiculous ultimately leading to racism. When trying to teach people that they should have all these additional unnecessary special race considerations as opposed to just BDSM fundamentals, this will definitely result in some people being scared away from playing with a group of people due to merely being overly concerned about doing something “wrong”. No race in BDSM wants to be treated like a potential bomb about to go off.
Again the problem is not that BIPOC porn industry concerns are being presented, it is that many topics are being presented to the wrong audience that can actually cause change, done in a manner that at times tramples on BDSM fundamentals, and all while being presented behind a paywall makes it come off a bit disingenuous. There seems to be no plans to discuss supporting people to create their own new original content despite being a more accessible option now more than ever. Instead the topics concentrate on complaining how existing production studios might operate with what appears to be no consideration to porn being an entertainment industry greatly tied to supply and demand like many industries. It could be said I’m assuming a lot about classes I have not experienced, however the issue jumps back to why am I being asked to pay for the equivalent of “Learn how to help fight racism”?
As a plot twist I made sure to follow through with payment options and the BIPOC ticket price is actually free, while Industry Only is $5, and then at the bottom is “Donations” which apparently is for everyone else. After testing, it appears the lowest Donations slot option is $1 and worth noting this layout is so poorly conceived it is quite confusing which option/combination a typical non BIPOC person is supposed to pick to get a ticket. Way to really off-put a good chunk of people you actually want to reach… I mean come on, do I really have to get into why this is problematic? Are all of you recently against gender based ticket prices ok with this?
After soaking in all the class descriptions I thought might as well look into the presenters while I’m at it and this led me to find some pretty interesting VICE articles.
Starting with this gem: What It’s Like to Be a Black Woman Into Kink
It shows in this circle of people it is ok to be racist as long as not white going back to 2016, and I’m sure further. Notable excerpts including:
“I decided very early on that I was really only interested in "playing" with black male dominants, but they seemed so few and far between that I wondered if that was even going to work.”
They then go on about complaints that it seems some assume she should be dominant due to being black. If you have experienced being a woman on Fetlife however you would already know men are going to infer what they think you should be no matter your race. Amusingly they finish up grieving about fetishization after starting off their BDSM quest with race based limitations, I just call that racism karma at that point.
Once I finished that sweet sample of the quality level of sex advice VICE provides, this more recent article caught my eye: Fuck the Police: Why Does Cop Porn Still Exist?
True to maximum current events virtue signaling, Samantha Cole tries to kink shame anyone who enjoys the fetish concept of anything to do with “cop porn”. For an interesting tie in she declares this concept was inspired by King Noire’s thoughts on the subject. Both seem happy to embrace the term fetishization in negative context to things that are literal fetishes and thus fundamentally not supposed to be looked down upon in BDSM. This is noteworthy since King Noire, a Flip The Script speaker, has several white cuck videos with all the tag greatest hits like BBC. Now it is one thing to be a more general black performer and be disappointed about being typecast, but buddy you can’t bitch about a problem you openly do on your own controlled platform and have people take you seriously.
“Noire believes that the way forward is for BIPOC performers to take control of their own content as he did early in his career, and choose to work with—and watch—content made by studios that don't put people into racist categories or scenarios.”
One could stand by their supposid beliefs...or well $17 is still $17 apparently.
The anti-cop porn article goes on to talk about history and possibly why people might like the concept; ultimately declaring there is something wrong with you if you do enjoy cop porn and thus you need to change your ways with your new “education” Such subtle hints as:
("Ignorance truly is bliss, but to continue consuming such porn after gaining knowledge makes you part of the problem," kink educator and professional dom BlakSyn told me.)
("It’s dangerous, naïve and wildly privileged to choose to divorce the reality of police brutality from detention porn as entertainment”)
Seemingly with no self thought, Samantha ends the article as if the Flip The Script team was hovering over their shoulder directing the “right” insight. It is difficult to emphasize enough how big of a fucking mess this whole article is to anyone that is a part of the BDSM community.
For starters it is nothing but kink shaming in social activism shiny packaging. Once you throw one fetish under the bus then everything is fair game. Oh cops are bad, well I’m pretty sure people could have some interesting thoughts on Furries. Please tell me about all your thoughts on how choking is a common request by submissive women and how they are wrong to desire that. Almost any fetish can be debated how it is “bad” to someone or something, it is a race to the bottom. Be sure and tell all the Jews they are wrong for wanting Nazi play, be sure and tell a Black person they are wrong for wanting to do a slavery plantation scene. Interestingly jumping back, as the Flip The Script | Intention vs Impact describes: Don’t Police BIPOC Fantasies! Maybe Mickey Mod is at least trying to add a little reasonability to the pile.
Anyone who actually has a fetish knows it is NOT something they CHOSE. To insinuate otherwise is as ridiculous as saying gay people choose to be gay and they are part of the problem till they choose to be straight again. Additionally anyone who watches porn knows they can enjoy something and not necessarily want to do it in real life. Just because some bros wacked off to 2 girls 1 Cup, doesn’t mean they want to follow through with that in person. To infer cop porn or the vast majority of porn in general will hurt others is particularly insulting coming from those who are supposed to be a part of the adult industry.
Showing their lack of maturity, the article fails to acknowledge cop play has been huge in the gay community almost ever since there was one in modern history. If a group was going to be pissed off about it, it was the gay community back when they could literally legally be beaten by cops with no repercussions.
Now clearly by this point I’m all in on this quality Samantha Cole content. You might ponder, perhaps maybe Samantha was trying their best in a foreign subject, nope they declare themselves a professional writer of “tech and sex” for motherboard and vice.
The next juicy morsel to catch my eye: Fucking in Public Reveals Who Public Spaces Are Really For
And I shit you not this is somehow in it:
“Unlike blueberry porn or farts-as-fetish, exhibitionist sex is a topic that brings up a lot of questions about capitalism, bigotry, and class struggle. In order to have a conversation about sex in public, we have to discuss who is privileged to enjoy this kink as a fun, potentially-risky taboo, and who can't.”
Moving past the socialism keyword Bingo party, they boldly gloss over about how exhibitionism can be quite a consent issue then try to argue that somehow fucking in public spaces is the only option for many “queers” in modern times so fuck consent, do what you gotta do! (as long as you aren't too normal with privilege) Just in case it was not obvious, most people who see the mission of HAVE-TO-FUCK see this could be accomplished in quite a few ways besides out in the public. Accommodating options such as: in a tent, in a vehicle not in public view, in a motel, or even in a locked port-a-potty, the bootcamp favorite (when not in the dumpster).
Eager to view fetish concern consistency I then moved on to: The Men Who Love Getting Their Balls Absolutely Destroyed
I know, I’m a little disappointed “fucking” isn’t somehow in the title too. The article goes with the usual format of at least reasonably explaining what ball busting is and why some people like it, yet ends the party basically inferring based on 1 person’s advice you are medically safe to bust as much balls as you want as long as you ramp it up a little. Seemingly to protect themselves from possible litigation they mention all the different ways balls can be wrecked, yet immediately proceed to declare, nahhhh don’t worry about any of that. Again not the best type of things to be telling beginner audiences with the additional factor I highly doubt Samantha will have the same things to say about the female equivalents of play.
I could go on with other great Samantha hits such as:
-This Animal Crossing-Enabled Buttplug Will Let You Hook Up In-Game
-Coronavirus Is a Golden Age for People Sucking Their Own Dicks
-Furries Are Arguing About Whether They Should Support Police Dog Charities
But hopefully you get the picture at this point; Samantha’s clickbait game is indeed strong.
The result of these types of websites and thought echo-chambers bring us this great example from Boundaries Leather, a Canadian based company. Go into this post knowing Vancouver is somewhere around 1.2% Black and 3.1% Aboriginal.
Despite Canada having no reputation for police brutality, this person has been convinced by their community that uncompromisingly “All Cops Are Bad”. Then from there you get the woke racism. If somehow this is not obvious let me use the ol’ race swap technique on one of the parts of this post: Such as #5:
5. White discounts. Its 10-15% off depending on the item & ordering platform. I usually just put this on, but if I dont please poke me. Discount code for the Etsy is WHITEDISCOUNT.
Looks bad right? Because fundamentally it is a racist concept. They manage to apply racism, prejudice, discrimination, and even kink shaming all in one post while thinking the whole time they were doing the “right” thing. We somehow went from places like Kink.com trying to raise some voices of those underrepresented to basically spreading racism due to the lack of holding many of these people accountable to core BDSM / civil rights values.
We all have room for improvement and should try to help those in need, but history will be on my side to declare the solution to racism is absolutely NOT more racism, prejudice, hatred, or discrimination. Not long ago it would be mind boggling for me to declare such a statement with any concern of repercussions, yet apparently we are currently in different times. Now more than ever the silent majority are worried to bring up any reasonable concerns about the hard woke crowd as the threat of retaliation and intimidation is quite real. If one tries to stick up for what they feel is right based on classic civil rights concepts somehow they are still right up there with Hitler if it goes against what the woke agenda of the day is. It starts with small things where most just don’t feel it is worth the hassle to speak up and then it takes us to the point where I described in this article.
If more clear heads don’t speak up, it has become quite obvious that the loud fringe groups will not hesitate to take advantage of the situation steering the conversation to advance their misguided means to reach the end.